The Shambush! Coffee Table Book of Shit Stories – Twink’s Veg Box

It’s important to note that this story has been repeated a number of times to this author via the medium of the telephone, internet and also in person. I’d like to tell you that this tale improves on its second or third or even fourth telling, but alas I cannot lie, well at least not in this instance.

A dear friend and part time Shambusher – Twink has communicated to us, that she receives a veg box. A fact not entirely disinteresting in itself until we delve further into the world of Twink’s box.

Her box is £9.50 a week. It comes every week on a Wednesday. Take note this an unimportant fact- you get a mix of vegetables – 9 we believe – also eggs. This box is delivered to her doorstep. She didn’t like the white onions and they gave her too many anyway and sometimes they give too many potatoes too and how is she possibly to eat all the carrots they supply?

Well it was OK, because as a customer you are allowed to make choices so Twink changed it around and she doesn’t get white onions anymore and she gets less of the potatoes and carrots too. If she wants onions she’ll go to Co-op and get some red ones, which she prefers.  It’s really great because you get to make stuff you wouldn’t normally and sometimes you get really good stuff like thai basil.

Ace.

The Shambush! Coffee Table Book of Shit Stories – Twink’s Veg Box

4 thoughts on “The Shambush! Coffee Table Book of Shit Stories – Twink’s Veg Box

  • 20 July, 2011 at 10:16 am
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    i have heard this story outside a pub on annies birthday.

    Reply
  • 21 July, 2011 at 12:31 pm
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    So I heard this noise from my bathroom last night and I said to my wife “what is that sound coming from the bathroom” and she was asleep and turned over in her sleep and said “oh its probably a seal in there” and went back to sleep and I decided to get out of bed and investigate because I was alarmed that there could be a seal in my bathroom and it turned out that the window was open and the wind had blown a loo roll which had knocked over a couple of bottles of shampoo and conditioner and there never was a seal after all.

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    • 11 August, 2011 at 7:48 pm
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      We never get enough onions in ours so sometmes I buy them from the shop.

      Reply
    • 13 September, 2011 at 9:44 am
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      This is indeed an impressive story. We like it very much. Would it have been a good thing to have a seal in your bathroom? Maybe?

      Reply

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